Pregnancy can be hilarious

Getting used to a big round belly in just a few months can be amusing.

I beeped the horn of my car the other day with my belly. I’ve nearly closed my own belly in the refrigerator, …and the cabinet on multiple occasions. And I definitely think I can still fit through areas that I definitely can not.

Last night I snuggled up to my sleepy husband on the sofa, we were kissing and his hand wandered and stumbled upon my giant belly. We both laughed. I don’t know how you are supposed to forget the fact that this new round body part is your kid, but neither of us can do it.

Also, apparently in the 3rd trimester you lose your ability to hold things due to a hormone called relaxin which will eventually relax your birthing muscles. So… you can just be standing there talking to someone and your phone that was fully gripped in your hand just falls to the floor, or your keys. Or you spill water down your shirt because you’ve lost the innate ability to hold a cup. 

I’ve started going to a chiropractor and they scanned my spine and then told me the red and black areas are the high alert sections but then also said that is just pregnancy. So your spine curves so much that it sets off a red and black alert, but no worries, totally part of the deal. My lower back hurts like it’s broken, that’s all I have to say about that.

One of my best friends is pregnant and mostly unaware of pregnancy changes. I will ask her… “are you leaking?”, “are your nipples different?” Her response? “I donno, I’ll check”. “Yep, definitely”. How one avoids noticing these changes is mind boggling.

I’m getting REALLY good at ebay and amazon. As in, I bought everything I’ve been told I need, INCLUDING giant maternity pads and arnica oil for vaginal swelling. Vaginal swelling people! This is apparently the trimester where moms start telling you things like “yeah, I didn’t walk for weeks after the birth”. Then you give them a look like, NOW you tell me? Then they say “but that’s not typical, it won’t happen to you”. My due date is Nov 4th, last week my husband asked if we were driving to Nebraska for Thanksgiving. No buddy, we aren’t.

Also, I hang out in my nursery. As if I’m confused about his whereabouts to the left of my right pelvic bone, no literally, that’s how far south he is.

Oh and he’s big enough now that you can see when his foot or elbow sticks out of me. It makes my husband holler “what is that!?” As if I know…

 

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