Expression and vulnerability is really important to me but it’s also sacred.
I’m considering putting my name where I type. You know, instead of signing everything “A”. I’m even considering purchasing a url that includes my name. As I nurse my baby on the sofa and look outside the window at the snow globe that is my City, I’m finding myself drawn to the crazy mama tribe that is instagram. You can connect with thousands of mamas from around the world and you can do so in a very real way. Honestly, the mama thing can easily be isolating if you don’t build a community and instagram has weirdly grown an inspired, creative community of women. I’ve seen it happen with one of my best friends. In fact, we may travel to Scotland this May and stay with her instagram friend. Isn’t that crazy, creepy, beautiful and perfectly random?
I don’t know how to strike up a balance between my sacred love for my baby, the sudden urge to document his existence, my own need to articulate and share my very personal thoughts and yet not feel that my innermost being is able to be searched on google. I might change my mind, my career and I don’t know what should be laid out bare and what shouldn’t. It should be noted that my husband is a very private, polite man, that may eventually choose a public career. I’m not sure I should be writing about my past dating life and that time I met a vagina therapist.
Also, I may just have cabin fever and be stir crazy.
But I think I like the honesty and rawness of attaching my name to these words. I think I like the beauty of having a reason to visually document my life as well. A motivator if you will. I’m not sure of how the work/baby thing is going to play out just yet. I would like to keep my name in the game as something, as someone, other than mom. Maybe as a taste maker of sorts or I’ll write for babble.com or sub in for various online magazines/blogs. Who knows. I’ve seen that some instagram moms have 80,000 followers and some bloggers have more! Honestly, I’d love to trade in the interior design gig and be a buyer/curator for some international company. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I feel like that kind of “following” could help pave that road. Maybe I’m delusional but maybe not!
Feel free to weigh in. I could benefit from some decisive viewpoints! Do I go public with this personal thought blog? Do I create a separate design/ mama focused blog? Either way, do I attach my name? Or do I keep it secret? Sacred?
Love to you,